Friday, October 17 – In The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus wrote “Seeking what is true is not seeking what is desirable.” Was I embarking on a 30-day journey for the right reason—truth—or was I trying to find beautifully serene days when all I desired became possible? The project became a germinating seed in Betsy Muller’s Artist’s Way class, a response to the exercise I’d done several times before “Describe your perfect day.” I wrote, again, about getting up in the morning to write fiction in my pajamas, take a long walk, do some yoga, garden, switch to non-fiction or marketing in the afternoon, spend an hour with a glass of wine cooking up Ragu Bolognese or Quiche Lorraine, talking with my husband Paul over dinner, settling in with a good book or movie at night. Repeat the day again and again, with variations of lunch with a friend, dinner at a restaurant, having people over, to have a beautiful life. But I wondered if my perfect-day project had some relevance or if the idea of making every day perfect was a stupid idea—it would be impossible. At a Gordon Square wine bar that first day, I talked with strangers about pursuing their passions, leaving behind their responsibilities, and being more in tune with who they are. From the beginning, I knew that part of it is about enjoying the journey. I was looking for bigger answers than finding meaning in my day when I asked myself: If I string 30 perfect days together like the dandelion necklaces I wore when I was a girl, will I birth a more creative life? The more questions I asked, the more they arose, like pulling dandelions from the yard and not getting the root out. I even asked: Is it necessary to think about life’s purpose at all? Camus reminds us that desire and truth intertwine like the loops that make up dandelion necklaces. My faith told me the answers are out there, if I dare to look deep enough.
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