30 Perfect Days Log 7 – Looking Fear in the Face

Week 7, Friday, November 21—When Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face,” she concluded that if you live through terrible times, you “can take the next thing that comes along.” On Day 7 of my 30-Perfect Days Project, I woke up anxious. My parents’ struggles with Dad’s cancer, all the running to and fro while sick and tired, overwhelmed me. My mother’s fear, my father’s confusion, and my worries about their declining lives enveloped me in a tight tension. My neck, shoulders and back hurt even before I got out of bed. I had no choice but to go forward—Dad was dying and I couldn’t stop it. I wondered whether the project itself was a ruse, an attempt to skip out on life. Living in the moment, seeking to live each day bountifully, and being positive about life has value, but as I sought excellence in daily living, my mother was growing thinner every week and my father’s nourishment was from a feeding tube. Later in the day while walking and holding the beach glass in my pocket, I accepted the sadness I was feeling and knew that I was already grieving for my father. I’d already lost my father. Read more in 30 Perfect Days.