As the cities of America erupt, just as they did when I was a child in 1968, I understand the struggle of many, but not the destructive behavior of others or the hate behind their actions. Nelson Mandela said, “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances freedom of others.” That leads to what I wrote about on Day 26: humility is a virtue because it allows us to see into the souls of others. When I arrived home from Lakeside, my daughter said I would never offer up an apology for bad behavior—the idea that my daughter sees me differently than I do, as a self-centered uncompromising person made me look deep to see if that’s true–some of what she accused me of IS true. That was right after I had a sobering thought on the way home from Lakeside that as far as what I’m writing and how much: No one’s watching. And I was fretting about it, worried about making a mistake or not being good enough when no one cares what I’m doing, not really but me. So I’m just a humble warrior who needs to focus on being there for people, whether it’s paying attention to my what-would-Jesus-do behavior or writing well. With great humbleness, I examine my behavior and who I am and help others be free to write and live well. I hope I’m living in a way that would make Mandela proud–with great respect for others and less focus on my achievements.
Log Post 25, Week 25: Being Expansive
For those who follow me: I’ve been off track with my posts. Back to Mondays. I’m happy to report that my new book Daffodils and Fireflies is now available, and I am reviewing the final proofs of Canal Country Wineries. But this weekend, as I write this on Saturday, I’m in the same place I was on Day 25 of my 30-Perfect Days Project: at Lakeside, Ohio’s Chautauqua on Lake Erie. The Chautauqua movement was always about being expansive, and when they began, in the middle of Queen Victoria’s reign, the artists and writers and philosophers and abolitionists were intoxicated by expansiveness. At Lakeside, and especially during my Word Lovers Retreats, people exude expansiveness. The tribe of Word Lovers writers are looking at expanding, putting it out there, acknowledging the intoxication we all feel when we put words on paper. And we need the encouragement of each other, as well as the universe, and perhaps a muse, like mine, my more mature self, the woman with the flowing long hair and gossamer scarves who appears beside me, beckons to reveal layers of treasures and the untethered freedom of a bird, meandering on the garden path. With her, I am childlike.
Log Post 24, Week 24: Tuning in to Possibility
On Day 24, I quoted Golda Meir who said we need to trust ourselves and create the kind of self we would be happy with the rest of our lives. Wow. Are you doing that. I think it’s difficult to appreciate ourselves, and for that reason, we can’t trust ourselves. Maybe it’s time to inventory our gifts, positive traits, and accomplishments so we can objectively begin to rework ourselves. The concept of recreating myself seems counter-intuitive to being authentic and letting go. I love the metaphor of a river, and how we move along in the current of life, sometimes hitting the bank or getting stuck on a rock, of being pushed down into the depths and rising to the surface, of flowing along in a meandering way, with our lives being transformed by trusting the journey. Creating ourselves but being authentic can be welded into this: accept what life has to offer and respond from a place within us that is fine with change. We don’t have to actively force a change but shift our attitude ever so slightly, hardly making a ripple on the surface of the water, but deepening what’s in the depths.
Log Post 23, Week 23 – Following the Heart
Being a writer, I’m too much in my head. I try to write from the heart, but using words is what the brain does, not what my heart does. I like what Steve Jobs had to say about following the heart: “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” Steve Job’s quote goes straight to the heart of authenticity, but it also sheds some light on what faith is all about. If you follow your heart and are faithful to your own voice, you’re living on faith and connected with the universe, the Oneness, God. The ancient Indian sage Patanjali advised that if we can stand in our truth and speak the truth, we’re acknowledging our beliefs at that particular moment in time. I find that by slowing down and doing the necessary soul searching, answers come to us and are true. But, oh, the possibilities. They are endless. Especially if you follow your heart.
Log Post 22, Week 22 – Letting Go
Check out the new cover! I decided, after 22 weeks, to redesign the book, inside and out, and now it’s a special gift or coffee table book. And on Day 22 in the book, I focused on Faith. Khalil Gibran said “Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.” If only we had the faith that everything would turn out all right. Isn’t it what a woman wants her lover to tell her, a child wants to hear from her mother, a parishioner wants to hear from her priest? During Lent, I try harder than usual to find peace, love, meaning, oneness, in an attempt to conquer worry. On my desk in the office, I keep a small magnet decorated with green foliage, trees, and flowers as the background on which I pasted the words “You don’t have to spend another moment wondering and worrying.” It seems to me that if we trust the universe and live in the moment, there can be no worrying. Worry is about something in the past or something in the future, both of which are out of control. We just need to open up our hearts to the present moment with complete abandonment, in faith, for worry to be conquered and no longer part of our lives.